To stay or to leave—I don't think I'm the only one wandering in this empty city.

It's been a long time since I've been back to China, and a long time since I've chatted with everyone. It seems my friends are just as busy as I am, and we've gradually gotten used to being woken up by alarm clocks and spending our days so busy that we can barely keep our eyes open in bed.

It's been a long time since I've sat down to think about anything, read anything, or write anything to let my mind settle down. It seems like I have more time than before, but I can do less. Since leaving the group, life has flowed by like water, unstoppable yet crystal clear.

Looking back at my writings from when I first went abroad, I was moved by my own passion and enthusiasm. How long has it been since I last mentioned the word "dream," how long has it been since I enjoyed the joy of pursuing my dreams, or that simple feeling of being busy yet happy? What hasn't changed is my independent spirit; fewer and fewer people are following me as dusk falls.

Lately, I've been thinking that the Chinese primary, middle, high school, and university systems, or rather, the overall "system," are actually quite good. It provides a benchmark, telling you that by striving in that direction, you can excel, constantly motivating you to climb higher without feeling tired. This seems particularly suitable for someone like me who pursues extreme efficiency and utilization. But what happens after graduation, after entering the workforce? Suddenly, the sunny road merges into a highway with countless road signs, and the vehicles around you become all different, at varying speeds. Sometimes, missing one exit doesn't mean missing another; going in the wrong direction can also lead to different kinds of success. But what is success? Dreams seem to lose their importance in this high-speed race; what matters is steering the wheel well, pressing the accelerator, and while agonizing over which exit to take, missing one exit after another, you still keep moving forward at high speed. But is this what I want?

I've told myself "slow down" so many times, but I still can't convince myself to slow down.

The question of whether to return to China or stay in the US is a major dilemma for our generation of international students. Staying offers a predictable future: H1B visa, green card, citizenship. This path takes anywhere from 10 to 15 years; by the time everything is settled, you'll be forty. Then, you won't be able to leave. If you do stay, life will certainly be stable, but also rather mundane. Isn't it a bit dull to be pursuing this path in your twenties? Going back to China? Friends, delicious food, holidays, relatives, and a familiar culture and language—at least you'll feel a sense of belonging.