My first essay at age 21

Today, the weather in Hangzhou turned cool. I went out in short sleeves, and the cold wind made it feel chilly. Coupled with the light drizzle, it felt like autumn had arrived. This kind of weather always makes me reminisce about autumn, a season filled with both melancholy and beautiful memories.

I just turned 21 yesterday, and suddenly I realized I need to mature and correct my lazy lifestyle. I'm taking the TOEFL on September 18th, and I feel like my preparation over the past two months has been too superficial; I haven't really absorbed anything substantial. It's not that I can't do it, but that I haven't put in the effort. If this continues, I'll probably regret it later. I need to constantly remind myself to be grounded and work hard.
[separator]
I've always wanted to write a journal, but every time I try, I feel like I have nothing to write about, and wallowing in self-pity feels childish, so I've kept putting it off. But this time I've found a starting point, and I think I can finally write down my thoughts properly.

First, let's discuss the issue of civil servants, a distorted phenomenon in this abnormal country: tens of thousands of people becoming officials. If I hadn't studied high school or middle school politics, I could easily interpret this as a feudal society. Looking at Qing Dynasty dramas, whether they depict everyday life or palace intrigue, they are all strikingly similar to the present situation. I wonder how future generations will view our era. Every year at the beginning of the year, I go to Beijing for the Two Sessions, like an old-fashioned pilgrimage. I don't even know how I was chosen as a representative. I have too many questions about politics; perhaps my knowledge is too limited to understand the meaning of democracy.

Serving the people is the duty of civil servants, and the people being the masters of the country is a policy of our Party. This means civil servants must obey the people, in other words, they are "slaves" of the people. So why do so many people fight tooth and nail to become these "slaves" every year? I think there are two reasons. First, feudalistic thinking from 2000 years ago still exists; officialdom is paramount. Second, the allure of being a civil servant is too great. This allure is power and profit. Most civil servants only get promoted, never demoted, receive government pay, aren't afraid of being laid off, and still have the power to do something. Most people flock to the civil service because of this—stability, power, and prestige—how wonderful!

Honestly, while some may genuinely want to serve the people and voluntarily become civil servants, most do so for the reasons mentioned above, which is why I despise those with this aspiration.

Okay, let's end this topic here. Although the server is located overseas, I'm still afraid of it being censored. Yesterday I saw some news, and two stories made me think. The first was about Jin Xin, a student who is physically disabled but not intellectually disabled, who studied diligently for many years and was admitted to Zhejiang University. This is a very inspiring story, but his mother's words were quite disappointing. She said: "I'll only be truly at ease when my child finds a job."

My first impression of this child was that he was persevering, ambitious, and indomitable. This immediately reminded me of the scientist Stephen Hawking. I can't imagine what kind of work someone with such a disability could do in society. But I'm certain he could become an excellent scientist. If he were to pursue research in a particular field instead of working to earn money, he would achieve extraordinary things.

The idea that studying is solely for the purpose of finding a job is far too common nowadays. Parents have raised their children for so many years, and now that they have a job, they can finally relax. Personally, I think that most people having this mindset is a tragedy for education and a tragedy for society. I'll discuss the specific reasons another time.

Finally, I want to talk about that shameless sports bureau. Yesterday, the Universiade closed, with China winning 75 gold medals, far ahead of the competition and breaking records. Then, people from the sports bureau jumped out and gave an interview to CCTV, saying: "This is the result of the integration of sports and education." Pah! What a fine integration of sports and education! Campus sports are becoming increasingly rare. The national team locks a few people in training camps, and when they turn 20, they just register at some university. Is this what you call integration of sports and education? How dare you say that! If you want me to believe you, let them take an English exam and an advanced mathematics exam. If they score above 30, I'll kowtow to you (the average score of all national team members in universities). Foreign universities have legitimate university students practicing sports in their spare time to participate in the Universiade. And you, you use legitimate athletes registering in their spare time at universities to participate in the Universiade, winning 75 gold medals, and then you boast and claim credit? You can keep your promotions, but I'm not convinced. The Universiade has ruined the pure atmosphere of university sports. Don't let it incite vicious competition!

Okay, I don't have the power to change anything, just saying, don't take it seriously! At 21, I'm going to change my destiny through my own efforts, and escape from that sad and lifeless place!

Going to sleep now!