The generation caught in the middle

Before I knew it, I was back at the airport. A month was still too short. Another 24-hour journey awaited me. Since going abroad in 2012, I've made a major trip back home about every two years, but I've never felt such complex emotions. My first trip to the US in 2012 was filled with excitement and anticipation for my graduate studies overseas, like a powerful eagle poised to unleash its full potential. My first return home after graduating and starting work in 2014 brought a completely new life and a different mindset. But this time, I feel utterly exhausted.

Five years have passed, and I'm amazed by the rapid changes in China, but also deeply reflecting on my own future. Our generation seems to be caught in the middle. While the standard of living in China has reached a high level, compared to the United States, it still lags far behind in urban planning and cultural sophistication. The development stage inevitably leads to a mix of good and bad; as long as the unskilled exist, it's difficult for the overall level to rise significantly. While there are still more opportunities in China than in the US, due to the explosion of talent, opportunities are shrinking, and many positions are already filled. Although I'm confident I can find a suitable place, it's undeniable that proving myself is difficult now.

Thirty years ago, staying in the US would have been the first choice, since everyone understood what reform and opening up truly meant. China has made too many mistakes since its founding; under a centralized system, decisions rarely allowed people to foresee future development. But what is the situation now?

• Salary levels are now almost the same as in the United States.
• The convenience of life is far superior to that in the United States.
• The uneven levels of cultural literacy mean that the overall experience is far inferior to that in the United States.
• In terms of opportunities and future development, China is stronger than the United States.
• In terms of living comfort, it is far inferior to that of the United States (middle class).
• In terms of workload and human care, it lags far behind the United States.
• From the perspective of communal living communities, China is far superior to the United States.
• In terms of children's education, China is far superior to the United States.
• From the perspective of resource allocation and social balance, the United States is far superior to China.
• In terms of future stability, at least during my lifetime, China's development will be far faster than that of the United States, and surpassing the United States is only a matter of a few years.

It's precisely because everything seems so similar that making a decision is so difficult. The longer this decision is delayed, the harder it becomes. After all, once you get used to life in America, returning can be quite a shock, and you might often wonder, "Why did I live in this kind of environment before?" But even so, getting used to it is relatively easy, because it's not a major problem, just something you can't stand. So what exactly is preventing me from wanting to return?

• [Low] Humanistic qualities: Because you live in society, you can't avoid interacting with people. Undeniably, some people now have very high levels of civility, but those with low civility still make up the majority, which can be very uncomfortable. And this discomfort is unavoidable unless you become extremely wealthy or reach a certain level of employment.
• [High] The housing prices are outrageous! During my recent trip to Shenzhen, I heard that Nanshan is already 80,000 yuan per square meter, and decent villas cost 200,000 yuan. Without at least ten million yuan, I probably can't buy a decent house. Having gotten used to large houses in the US, returning to China will be a huge challenge. Even in Hangzhou, decent new apartments cost fifty or sixty thousand yuan per square meter, which is unaffordable for me. What about renting? It seems like 10,000 yuan a month could rent a very good place, but it still feels uncomfortable. Luckily, I don't need to worry about school districts; I can move to the mountains and find a villa to live in.
• [middle] Uneven distribution of social resources. This paragraph is not displayed due to policy reasons.
• [Middle] Inflation is rampant. I vividly remember when I was in junior high and high school (ten years ago), a chicken only cost 20-30 yuan. Back then, 100 yuan could buy a very nice meal with friends at a restaurant. In 2012, the price rose to around 200 yuan per meal, and this time when I came back, a meal cost at least 500 yuan. Although wages are also increasing, this kind of inflation is already obvious. Fortunately, there are rich and poor people in China, and we can still make ends meet by eating at places like Shaxian snack shops, although even Shaxian snack shops have almost doubled in price. Moreover, I see a very worrying phenomenon: because everyone feels this inflation, no one is saving money anymore; everyone will continue to invest (buying houses). This hollowing-out growth, coupled with a loss of mental balance, will have very serious consequences. I'm not an economics major, but an opaque market plus a participant with an unbalanced mindset is a very big hidden danger.

Therefore, in conclusion, just like thirty years ago, we still have concerns about the future, still enjoy a high quality of life while worrying about being left behind by the times. However, we face even greater difficulties in making choices than people did thirty years ago.

When faced with a chicken and a small shrimp, we would definitely choose the chicken, even if the shrimp has great potential and will grow into a lobster. But who knows if it will be eaten by other animals before it grows up? The current situation is a chicken and a lobster.

There's a classic humorous question: if you have a hundred and a fifty on the ground, which would you pick up? If only it were that simple. The exciting thing is, the decision is already on its way!