Today I finally discovered my deepest, most hidden desire: importance—the feeling of being needed. From childhood to adulthood, I've fought my way through countless challenges single-handedly. But without realizing it, that fighting spirit gradually disappeared, and I became indifferent, prematurely indulging in the comforts of life I had built up earlier.

Society is realistic. Stripped of all the glamour, what underpins the feeling of being needed is real strength, whether it's hard-core technical skills or soft skills like interpersonal relationships. And once you get used to excellence, what you want to do is climb one distant peak after another, until you stand at the top of the world.

I'm sorry, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find inspiration for my writing lately; it's all just scattered thoughts. I recently moved to a completely new city—Seattle—and have had a lot of quiet reflection and inner conversations, which have left me with many insights.

About football

I've mentioned it many times: football was my childhood dream, and I truly regret not being able to realize it. Last year, after a year of hard work, I finally chose to leave, not because I stopped loving it, but because I was "tired."

Without competition, football is just like any other form of entertainment—a way to pass the time.

It's not because of age, declining physical abilities, or a loss of ball control. Standing in the center of the pitch, there's still that confidence to conquer the field. However, after repeated mistakes, teammates become strangers, and trust is lost. Ultimately, you realize that the teammates who knew how to feed you the ball and always trusted you are gone, and you lose the motivation to strive to recover for them.

Team sports, once you change the group of people, will never have the same feel again.

Lone wolf who doesn't fit in

If one's previous efforts stemmed from a sense of superiority, a desire to distance oneself from the "ugly" masses, then once one actually leaves and begins a reclusive life, that motivation is lost.

Striving is about gaining control, choosing the life you want to live, the people you want to associate with, the places you want to go, and the life you want to live.

The more you strive, the more you realize that you are actually racing against time. You have endless dreams, but only one lifetime. This forces you to make choices and give up things. So why not enjoy the present? If you want to enjoy the present, why strive so hard?

After wandering in this vicious cycle for a long time, it was like breaking out of a cocoon and resolutely leaving my comfort zone. I think this might be my passive ability. There are always things I admire and dreams I want.

Not speaking

As a chatterbox and naturally outgoing, I can chat with most people. However, the more I chat, the more I realize that sometimes it's better to remain silent than to chat. I've identified three types of people:

• Unrelated to the other person: If they're willing to chat, we can have a great time. I enjoy listening to their stories, their lives, and my insights from their perspective. Of course, if their level is too low, they might find it too insensitive and the conversation might end.
• For casual friends: talk to those who understand, and don't talk to those who don't, especially those who are particularly confident. It's tiring to talk to them and you can't change their minds. It's better to let them experience it for themselves.
• True friends: As the saying goes, "I will search for my one true soulmate in the vast sea of people. If I find her, I am lucky; if I don't, it is my fate." - They are hard to find. In most cases, they are fake "true friends." Either they are deliberately flattering you because they want something from you, or they are just emotionally intelligent and overpower you.

When you're no longer on the same wavelength as someone, no matter how much you say or how reasonable it is, the other person won't understand or listen. In this case, leaving silently is the best approach. It's better to save your words for those who need them.

Pursuit, flexibility, inclusion

Everyone thinks they are at a high level, but when someone at a higher level looks at someone at a lower level, they see things very clearly.

Your state of mind is a hidden attribute that determines your behavior after a satisfying meal. Why do I always recommend that everyone clear their mind, go out and experience life in different places? This is the cultivation and elevation of your state of mind. After experiencing these things, looking back at many things you pursued before seems quite laughable.

I often lament that many people are too rigid and inflexible. They spare no effort in utilizing their time, wealth, and plans. This can make us move forward quickly, but it also means losing flexibility and tolerance.

Whether a stranger is happy is easily discernible from their "flexibility." For example, during a job interview, if the person is relaxed and at ease, chatting and laughing, their abilities likely far exceed the job requirements, and they might even seem unfathomable. The same applies to composure in life: casually holding a door for someone, or unintentionally showing courtesy, are all manifestations of composure. Regardless of industry or background, composure indicates that they are living the life they desire and steadily moving towards the future.

For Chinese people, who have been educated with a single ideology, tolerance is actually quite difficult to achieve. However, as life becomes more affluent and diversity takes center stage, people are gradually realizing that everyone comes from different backgrounds, has different stories, and has completely different understandings of the same things. Tolerance, like composure, means being able to understand that everyone has their own ideas and preferred lifestyles, without imposing one's own thoughts and ideas on others, while also being able to live the life one wants.

Life is so short, every second is lost. If you don't choose the life you love, you'll never have another chance once time has passed.

True strength lies within.