27-year-old self-reflection

My birthday was a few days ago, and I finally found the time to write this entry. Looking back at my old posts, the article "20 Years Old - Future" is still among the top-readed, not because no other post is more readable, but because I've slowly drifted away from the "community." If 2012 was a good summary of the previous 22 years, after a climax, there were no more waves.

As someone who loves to explore and experiment, I'm truly unwilling to settle for mediocrity. Recent events have made me slowly begin to wake up. Today, I want to talk about my self-reflection.

Entering society means you can no longer express yourself as freely as before. Before, you could express yourself freely and unrestrainedly because you were carefree and everything was for yourself. But now, your individual strength is so insignificant that you can't survive in society alone. At this point, you need to integrate into a team. You are no longer just yourself; everyone begins to have multiple facets. No one knows anyone else's true thoughts, but because of a shared goal of survival, you maintain a distanced cooperation. Borrowing the principle of the dark forest, revealing your true thoughts is very dangerous.

All this rambling is just to say that the following content will be encrypted again! Contact me via WeChat or email to get the password.

I wrote an encrypted article at the beginning of this year ( Year after year – 2017 The content was roughly about wanting to go to the west. The evolution of events truly requires a process: first, the idea germinates; second, events catalyze it; then, actions follow the realization; and finally, it takes shape.

Looking back, this idea took root a bit late. Three years have passed since I graduated in 2014, so why did it only come to my senses now? The reason I chose to stay in Washington was because of the resources there, and I wanted to start my own business. But then another contradiction arose: staying in the US comes with visa and green card restrictions, and I wanted to get those as quickly as possible.

Looking back, I realize I missed a golden opportunity to go west: graduation. Back then, all the resources were in Washington, but what did I do? I didn't utilize those resources; instead, I slowly got used to comfort, and three years flew by, leaving me with nothing.

I recently went back to China, traveled around, and saw the sights. I found that the competition here is much fiercer than here. It doesn't seem to be very appealing to kids who graduated from American universities and worked there for a few years. Even if they go back, they'll likely start as low-level workers. This is a huge disappointment compared to my expectations. I've always seen myself as a general leading troops into battle; how could I be content to remain a foot soldier?

I have two paths I can take: 1. Meet a mentor who appreciates my abilities, guides me, and helps me reach my full potential. 2. Equip myself into a top performer. Clearly, the second point is more realistic, and it's a catalyst that made me want to go to the West. I'm unwilling to be mediocre, but I have no other options. This is the best way out. All I need to do is practice coding problems, solidify my knowledge, interview, and relocate to a sales position! Even for the first point, the probability of meeting a mentor in Silicon Valley is far greater than in Washington.

Another catalyst was the fact that, coincidentally, all my friends of many years started leaving this year to pursue their own futures. Suddenly, this lifted the veil that had been obscuring me for so long; it turned out I had been feigning concern all along, and everyone had already largely left. I, who dared not be complacent, could not afford to fall behind! If I didn't spur my horse forward now and catch up with all my might, I would regret it even more later!

Lately, I've been having recurring dreams of a completely unknown me, disrespected and unwelcome wherever I go. Nobody knows me, nobody recognizes my abilities. It's a painful and resentful feeling, and this is actually my current situation. My past glory is fading, and I'm not on an upward trajectory; I can only watch it disappear and numb myself with self-deception. But it's not too late to wake up. Since I've had my moments of brilliance, all I have to do is create them again.

I used to think that work visas, green cards, and moving were all obstacles. But overnight, I realized that none of these were obstacles. The obstacle was my own mindset and my own perspective.

This birthday might be the most stressful one I've ever had. It could also be a huge turning point. Just two more months... it'll just be a lot of coding practice, nothing easier.

Why the hell is it taking so long to start?!

In summary, ask me for the password yourself. At 27, the prime age for a striker, and someone who constantly pushes their athletic limits, everything is at its most opportune.

Just like before, fight your way through!