Fight to the bitter end!

In Shanghai, after studying for the GRE for a few days, I found my confidence completely shattered. Everyone here was an expert, or at least very well-prepared, while I was completely unprepared. Not only did they all come from top universities, but their English level was several steps above mine. I thought my English was pretty good, but after spending time with them, I realized I was nothing special.

Let's talk about the GRE. It's a real mess. There's so much to prepare. Even though there are still four months left, I'm still nervous. The biggest problem I need to solve is vocabulary. Everything is built on that foundation. If I prepare seriously, there's still hope for a good GRE score. The biggest feeling I have while studying is loneliness. Studying now isn't like high school, where there were teachers to guide you and you knew your own level. Now, the GRE seems so far away; facing it feels like climbing a 90-degree hill.
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I received a notification yesterday that I need to take the GRE essay test in Beijing on March 3rd, and I couldn't sleep well at all. With less than 20 days left, how am I supposed to prepare for the essay? Having not used English in a long time, I feel very uncertain and panicked. I've already backed down from this first step of the GRE.

How can I convince myself to move forward when faced with an ideal, a road ahead fraught with difficulties? Can I, so weak, persevere? I took the first step, and will continue forward step by step.