Foreword

While organizing my blog today, I found this draft, which I wrote after returning to the US in February, but I haven't had time to finish it. Today I finally have time to put it into writing.

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I've finally found some time to sit down and write something. Since returning from China, I've been working non-stop. There's still moving, playing games in out of state, and other things waiting for me. Changing jobs and living in a new place gives me a feeling of being reborn. I think this year will be very fulfilling, but how long will this feeling of novelty last?

Last year I returned to China twice, for quite a while each time, and traveled to many places. I won't go into my reflections here; if you're interested in reading from the beginning, you can click the link:

《Travelogue - Miscellaneous Thoughts《A Journey South – Current Situation in China, Future Comparison, and Whether to Return Home》

As I've gotten older, my understanding of returning to China versus staying in the US has deepened. I used to always advise those who could go back to China, but now I think differently. Everyone's circumstances, pursuits, and lifestyles are different, and their needs and perspectives vary at different stages. Understanding the same language also differs under different environments and states of mind. So, simply talking about it is of little effect, especially since I can only offer my opinion from my own perspective and situation.

The longer I stay in the US, the more I want to go back to China. The longer I stay in China, the more I want to go back to the US. I still vividly remember a sentence my high school teacher said: "Look down from a high position." I think of this sentence in everything I do, and it has become a guide in my life. If I hadn't chosen to go abroad, I might only be able to stay in China now. If I hadn't worked abroad for a few years, I might only be able to stay in China. But now I can choose to go back to China or stay, or I can choose to go to Japan or Europe, choose the city I like, and live the life I like. I am much happier than many people.

I've always been a proponent of returning to China. For a young person, staying in a place where their life trajectory is predictable is more painful than death. Returning home allows you to realize your potential, create your own life, and every change is an opportunity. I'm also someone who loves to take risks and get things done. After going abroad, I discovered many wonderful memories, and all my past achievements and milestones were reached in China. This also indirectly shows that the stage in China is more suitable for me.

I hesitated for several years, and every time I went back to China, I was excited, but I could never make up my mind. I always felt that something was missing in China. Going back would mean giving up more than just a lifestyle. The more times I went back, the more I felt this way.

Superficial prosperity, spiritual emptiness, and a singular value system.

The entrepreneurial wave of 2013 largely ended last year. Many failed, many were injured, and only the top 1% truly succeeded. What I see more of is a surge in CEO titles on LinkedIn, and on the street, you constantly encounter people spouting grand pronouncements that sound utterly insincere. A person's true ability and competence are easily discernible through their words and actions, yet these individuals remain trapped in their own worlds. It's like Wall Street after the financial crisis, where a group of unemployed individuals who once controlled millions in a second are now wildly boasting about a "glory" that was never truly theirs.

More and more people are unwilling to work diligently; shortcuts, the pursuit of quick wealth, and materialism are rampant. Most people are still chasing financial wealth to fill the emptiness in their hearts and to alleviate a sense of inexplicable anxiety.

It's so hard to find people who tell the truth in China, unless they're old classmates or very good friends. Even so, many people become withdrawn and secretive after being exposed to the harsh realities of society. What China has in abundance is fools. Out of a billion people, it would be a good number to have 10 million wise men. Even if you fooled 100 people a day, you could never fool them all in your lifetime, and they still do it with great enthusiasm.

But what's the point? How tragic it is if someone has to resort to false and exaggerated words to get applause.

While China appears to have an open value system, in reality, when problems arise, it reveals a narrow-minded egoism. If you don't want to get married, if you don't want children, if you want to find a job you like but with low pay, if you want to develop your career in a smaller town, if you want to travel all over the country, a whole bunch of people will come out and nag. But what business is it of theirs? Every era is different, and every person is different. Why should we live the same life as the previous generation? It's a circle we can't escape; living our own lives is too difficult.

The life I want

I'm a self-righteous and intolerant person. I look down on those who are money-grubbing and pretentious, despise boastful people, and hate evil like poison. Think about it, how could someone like me stay in China? It seems like every day, countless people like that unconsciously pop up around me. What can I do besides wear noise-canceling headphones? If I were to enter this corrupt environment, how miserable I would be.

Of course, this also depends on the circle. Finding the right circle is a problem that I need to solve myself.

I enjoy doing things on my own, and I'm unsure if my focus is sufficient to concentrate in the noisy environment of China. I'm someone who craves self-achievement, and I haven't been able to do so in the US. This question has been nagging at me for almost five years, but the answer is becoming increasingly clear.

Continue writing

Whether to keep it or not is actually very similar to the question of a phone. The reason I used to like Android was because it was open source, and it was easy to get root access and do whatever I wanted. Since I like to tinker, it further fueled my love for Android. All of this has gradually changed after I entered the workforce.

Rather than saying this is being changed, it's more accurate to say this is the "normal" life trajectory after leaving school. This world offers endless dreams and countless paths to choose from. A person's life is finite, with the most golden years being no more than twenty. This forces us to make choices: what kind of person do we want to become?

After embarking on this journey, I found that spending time on things I enjoy, rather than playing with gadgets, really ignited my passion. There are so many things I want to do, and so little time to spare; if money could buy time, it would be the most worthwhile trade. Android, being open-source, naturally creates a vibrant world, but this also leads to various problems: inconsistent standards and implementation methods make the entire system less user-friendly. At this point, the somewhat cumbersome Apple becomes the preferred choice. I don't need to worry about push notifications, device connectivity, or API issues; everything becomes simpler. I also have more time to focus on more important things.

This is also why I chose the United States. The social system and laws are sound, and each industry has its own standards and rules. I don't need to worry about all sorts of complicated issues. When I'm sick, I go to a doctor; when I need repairs, I go to a repairman; when I need a driver's license, I go to the DMV, etc. I don't need to spend time studying every issue I don't understand. I just need to know the rules, and I can solve them naturally.

When queuing is just queuing and drawing lots is just drawing lots, life becomes very simple.

Of course, staying is only a temporary option. It's a great place to accumulate experience and wait for the right opportunity to return to the chaotic world. After all, heroes only emerge in times of chaos, and I can't be as tranquil as Tao Yuanming.