This article has a rather complex timeline because it was completed in three phases. I originally planned to finish writing and publishing it before New Year's Day, but some events stirred my emotions, and a long-dormant cry for help woke me up. At the beginning of 2019, self-reflection felt like a deep wound, and I wanted to recover before publishing it. After all, in previous years, my "year after year" articles were sometimes completed around New Year's Day and sometimes during the Spring Festival, and New Year's Day had already passed.

On the last day of 2018, I finished the last paragraph, thanking the new and old friends I made during this trip back to China. This journey was truly memorable.

Foreword? Sequel? Prologue? — Written in Hangzhou at the beginning of 2019

I originally wanted to finish this article before the new year, which is a tradition. But unfortunately, I caught a cold. However, that's just a polite excuse. I can feel myself becoming less and less willing to talk or write. I've lost the passion I used to have to give my all to be number one in everything, and I'm living a more and more mediocre life.

A few days ago I met a friend in Shanghai whom I hadn't seen for many years. He said I had changed and was no longer as driven, which surprised me. I thought I had hidden it well, but it was still so obvious.

After entering the workforce, it's really hard to find someone who can understand you.

I had originally planned to postpone this article until the Spring Festival, hoping that ideas would come to me intermittently while I was walking. But when I actually sat down at the keyboard, I felt like I had amnesia. "Weibo" is so important to me right now; I so desperately want to record my thoughts anytime, anywhere.

No matter how fluent I was in the past, now I really can't write anything. Apart from those rational comments, it seems that I've slowly lost some abilities. I used to be able to experience the world with my heart, but as I experienced more, I slowly closed myself off, not listening, not asking, not looking, living my own comfortable life, and naturally I lost the motivation to spread my wings and soar.

Tonight, I stumbled upon a TV station showing Slam Dunk. I watched it for four hours. Even though I know the plot by heart, I still looked forward to seeing those exciting moments on screen. I knew I would be moved, and I knew I needed these things to unlock something.

As a child, I was a huge fan of Sakuragi Hanamichi, and I constantly called myself a genius. I even transferred the number 10 from basketball to soccer. In elementary, middle, high school, and college, I was unbeatable on the sports field. But where did that incredible drive go?

2018 has passed, and it seems I am still on this trajectory, moving forward passively.

Actually, I'm doing pretty well, aren't I?

Yes, you're doing better than most people, what more could you want?

But am I... willing to... just stay here?

The Current Situation in China – Written at the End of 2018

2018 is drawing to a close, and in the last few days of the year, I returned to China. This year, I've seen all sorts of negative news: P2P lending platform collapses, tightening real estate policies, sluggish investment, company layoffs, and so on. I came back to investigate for myself.

The fulfillment of the prophecy; the gradually receding tide

Starting in 2014, the domestic internet industry went crazy, with everyone rushing in, leading to a series of ridiculous situations. Government monetary easing, coupled with rampant land sales and subsidies across the country, spawned a huge wave of "investors," a mixed bag of professionals and novices, but all sharing a common goal—to make money. Professionals understood the principle of money making money; early entry and a booming market guaranteed profits. The unprofessionals, however, either poured money into themselves or their friends, fostering an inflated sense of self-importance throughout society. Raising funds became incredibly easy in recent years; millions or even tens of millions could be acquired in a single evening or a meal. So, what were the consequences?

1. A group of "ordinary people" got carried away, inflated their own abilities, and blinded themselves to reality.
2. Prices began to soar because money came too easily, and people didn't feel bad spending it, no matter whose money it was.
3. People are getting lazy. Ill-gotten gains come too easily. Why would I work myself to the bone for a few dozen dollars?
4. The termites appeared; they had their own way of sucking blood and no longer needed to work.

I've commented more than once that most internet projects are difficult to succeed. From "Internet Plus" to big data, O2O, the sharing economy, and now artificial intelligence, this nationwide frenzy has resulted in almost no money reaching those who truly need it—the middle class. They are knowledgeable, capable, and incredibly hardworking, yet constantly exploited by companies, real estate developers, and banks. Some of the money ends up in the hands of those who don't know how to turn it into a "money-printing machine," and they may enjoy it for a while and then forget about it. But who benefits from this "enjoyment"? Another portion of the money ends up in the hands of oligarchs, who can now begin transferring assets; the waiting time for the US EB-5 investment immigration program has remained stagnant for a long time.

After going around in circles, everyone is actually feeling increasingly uncomfortable and panicked. 2018 was a year of transformation. Gradually, people are returning to rationality, gradually opening their eyes to the truth, and more and more people are returning to a more grounded approach. This growing pain will last for a while, but it's a healthy correction. When the tide recedes, we'll find that the riverbed is full of parasites. They have no choice but to change; survival is far more important than "saving face."

Life, self-awareness

The more I come back, the more I realize that my love for my motherland is fading, and I can no longer tolerate more and more things. The rising period is like the honeymoon period, where many things are covered up, but once you enter a stable period, many problems will be exposed, let alone the declining period.

It seems there's no one I've seen so clearly before, like this trip back to China. Since there are better models available, why choose one you don't like?

(Something was deleted below, black guy with a question mark face)

The statement that was ultimately proven

It's too pretentious, and too much trouble to find, so I'm not writing anymore. You can find my previous predictions on my blog. I've only touched on many things superficially before, so I think I might create a dedicated section for in-depth analysis, commentary, and predictions in the future. I've discovered I have these abilities and want to put them to use.

self

2018 seems to have flown by. I really didn't do anything this year. I've become more and more indifferent to my life and less and less interested in the outside world. "Picking chrysanthemums by the eastern fence" seems to suit me quite well.

I don't want to say much, but I've come to realize the complexity of the world. Everyone has their own background and understanding, and things look different from different perspectives. Even the right thing can be right in the long run, right in the short term, right in a suitable environment, and so on. Trying to comment on or even persuade someone is too difficult, and sometimes it can even hurt you. Rather than doing that, it's better to mind your own business and let things be.

But managing oneself leads to the question of self-positioning: What should I do? What do I want to do in the future? The stable period is like a middle-class trap; the longer you stay there, the harder it is to get out. In 2019, I hope I can clearly see my path and break through my own barriers.

postscript

The part about looking back is still a bit embarrassing, but it's a rare record of my emotional outburst, so I won't delete it. I'm an introverted person, and I can't stand this kind of thing. If it really comes to it, I'll encrypt it later.

This is a very special "Year After Year" piece. Looking back at previous "Year After Year" pieces evokes an indescribable feeling. I've been writing for eight years now, since 2010. These eight years have been the most transformative in my life. I don't know if I can continue writing in my current state, but 2018 is over, and I should say goodbye to the past and face new challenges. Whether I continue down this mediocre path or take that step in 2019, I'm filled with anticipation.

(One month later, on the eve of the Lunar New Year)

This month I made some changes to myself, and the results are very promising. My athletic ability is slowly recovering, my passion for striving is gradually returning, and everything is getting better. Most importantly, after regrouping, everything has become clearer, and the next two, even five years, look incredibly exciting.

Happy Year of the Pig to everyone! And to those who are lost, may you soon break through to the dawn. The world was originally lifeless, but countless hopes light up the sky.