Rainy day

It's been a long time since I've sat quietly and listened to the pitter-patter of rain outside the window.

Hangzhou is a rainy city, with light rain falling all the time. I got used to this drizzling sound during elementary, middle, and high school. Although I went to university in Hangzhou and the timeline is getting closer, my memories of the quiet sound of rain are becoming fewer and fewer.

As a child, rain was always associated with sadness. Whenever it rained, I would look out the window and feel melancholic. As I grew up, although I experienced more and more sadness, the calluses of time have enveloped me. The meaning of rain has become only memories.

It's already the end of April! How time flies! Right now, my friends back home are thinking about how to spend the May Day holiday, while my friends in the US are discussing H1B visas. People's thoughts always fall behind time. At this age, I still have the illusion that I'm the youngest. The younger generation is moving forward faster and faster; I'm practically being pushed into the role of senior.

Thinking about it, it's true. Studying and working are two completely different worlds. When I was doing internships and job hunting, even though the interviewers were recent graduates, I still felt they were much older than me, not on the same level at all. When students talked about working people, the first impression was always "experienced," someone who could do everything in their field. But the reality is quite different. The transition from student to worker is both long and short. Some people take off quickly, while others dawdle, waiting for the right opportunity. Some people might remain stuck at the moment of graduation, because after that, we're swept into the massive production line of society, pushed up, packaged level by level, promoted, given raises, married, had children, children went to school, children graduated, and retired. It's a production line everyone knows about; we just silently "enjoy" this so-called life experience.

Only a few types of people can escape from the very beginning: 1. Those with a strong family background, 2. Those who inherit the mantle, and 3. Mavericks who love to stir things up.

Those who couldn't see through it all got trapped step by step with their expectations, some who understood it sighed over it, and others took action, leaving the production line, leaving the vortex of capital, leaving this artificially designed factory.

It's not that the rules have changed; it's that as a student, I simply didn't understand them.

I don't want my memories to be stuck in 2014, and I don't want my glory to be limited to 2012. It's not something to brag about to anyone, and it's even a bit boring. I don't even have the capital to show off, so what great achievements can I talk about!

Returning to the question I've pondered for so long, what happened to me between 2012 and 2016? In 2012, I arrived in the US full of confidence and passion. Then, in 2013, I began the arduous task of finding a job to stay in the US after graduation, spending a year honing my skills. In early 2014, my goal was an H1B visa, which I nervously obtained. Then came graduation, a brief respite, followed by a job change in October and another long period of hectic work until 2015 when I could finally catch my breath. Then came housing, then a green card, and finally, time to return to China! I returned from China in 2016. If you ask me what I did, I can't answer. Not only did I not do anything, but my energy, passion, and drive were all declining. The realities of society were draining my energy, and slowly, I succumbed to these unspoken rules.

That wouldn't be me anymore. After searching high and low for a chance to escape, I think I found one in 2016, and over the past six months, I've slowly returned to my original path.

The rain, the same familiar rain, falls all over the world, pattering against the muddy ground.

We'll be revealing some big events soon; everything is ready to fight.

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